First off, I'd recommend seeing a therapist since they can give personalised tools to manage your anxiety.
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The basics are that social anxiety is completely irrational. It's the crazy, conspiracy theory uncle who's screaming that everyone secretly hates you - so why would you let him steer the ship? When I feel myself getting wound up, I practise challenging those anxiety thoughts one by one. "I can't go to the party." "Why not?" "Nobody there likes me." "Where's the evidence for that, they invited you didn't they?" etc. I treat the anxiety as a separate entity, so it's easier to take control back from them. Also, for situations I feel nervous about I'll think of the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen (probably dying), the absolute best thing (winning an award?), and what's probably going to happen (event goes as expected). Then I have a frame to see exactly how ridiculous the anxiety thoughts are and further proof why I shouldn't let anxiety captain my ship.
And then you have people who don't give a damn that you have social anxiety, and deliberately pressure you, until you're past visibly uncomfortable, to do the thing, solely because they've decided that you absolutely have to be the one to do it, and you don't get any help from them whatsoever.
I can't go into a store without one of my friends because I think the cashier is judging me. Deep down, I know they couldn't care less, but I still can't get over it. When I have to go alone, I buy a birthday card with it so it looks like it's for someone else, even if it's a pack of gum. If it can't pass as a gift, I give my friends money to get it for me :(
This probably won't help, but if you're feeling stressed or embarrassed try to remember that there is very little you can buy in a store that a cashier hasn't seen bought before. Especially if there's a pharmacy and/or adult section. People in those places have seen and heard everything.
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Used to work retail. Over the years:
-Had guys come in all the time and buy nothing but lubriderm and boxes of Kleenex.
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-Had a couple girls come in a buy Plan B and hair dye, which was only notable insofar as they like to be around 14.
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-had a guy so nervous about buying hemorrhoid ointment he reassured me about 6 times that the cream wasn't for him, and I reassured him as many times that it doesn't make a difference either way
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-someone buy nothing but condoms and peanut butter. I didn't ask.
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-someone buy around 9 harlequin romance novels in one go
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-had a person ask me how you put condoms on
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-accidentally asked someone why they were returning KY jelly [<- this one was actually awkward, but that's because it was my fault]
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-had people talk to me about their bowel movements in varying degrees of detail
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-had guys ask me what would be a good mascara/eyeliner. Which, again, didn't make a difference to me that they wanted to know - they were just nervous out of their minds, and sadly I just happened to be the person least likely to be able to help them with that.
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-had people ask me extensive questions about warts
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List goes on and on.
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The point is: this likely won't fix your anxiety. But if you're in a situation where you need to buy something but are feeling too stressed, just try to keep in mind:
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It doesn't matter what you do or what you buy, chances are you are not the weirdest person the cashier has seen that day, let alone overall. They don't care what you're buying, and will likely forget you existed within moments of you walking out the door
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I wish I knew how to deal with it honestly,,,
.
The basics are that social anxiety is completely irrational. It's the crazy, conspiracy theory uncle who's screaming that everyone secretly hates you - so why would you let him steer the ship? When I feel myself getting wound up, I practise challenging those anxiety thoughts one by one. "I can't go to the party." "Why not?" "Nobody there likes me." "Where's the evidence for that, they invited you didn't they?" etc. I treat the anxiety as a separate entity, so it's easier to take control back from them. Also, for situations I feel nervous about I'll think of the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen (probably dying), the absolute best thing (winning an award?), and what's probably going to happen (event goes as expected). Then I have a frame to see exactly how ridiculous the anxiety thoughts are and further proof why I shouldn't let anxiety captain my ship.
.
Used to work retail. Over the years:
-Had guys come in all the time and buy nothing but lubriderm and boxes of Kleenex.
.
-Had a couple girls come in a buy Plan B and hair dye, which was only notable insofar as they like to be around 14.
.
-had a guy so nervous about buying hemorrhoid ointment he reassured me about 6 times that the cream wasn't for him, and I reassured him as many times that it doesn't make a difference either way
.
-someone buy nothing but condoms and peanut butter. I didn't ask.
.
-someone buy around 9 harlequin romance novels in one go
.
-had a person ask me how you put condoms on
.
.
-had people talk to me about their bowel movements in varying degrees of detail
.
-had guys ask me what would be a good mascara/eyeliner. Which, again, didn't make a difference to me that they wanted to know - they were just nervous out of their minds, and sadly I just happened to be the person least likely to be able to help them with that.
.
-had people ask me extensive questions about warts
.
List goes on and on.
.
The point is: this likely won't fix your anxiety. But if you're in a situation where you need to buy something but are feeling too stressed, just try to keep in mind:
.
It doesn't matter what you do or what you buy, chances are you are not the weirdest person the cashier has seen that day, let alone overall. They don't care what you're buying, and will likely forget you existed within moments of you walking out the door