You might be wondering how I got here

Give me your contacts and I’ll arrange an interview exam

Ok so death by nelson, got it!

I am jealous of your good fortune

You know suicide is an option? Like, I'm not suggesting it, but it exists.

Nah. Not the same

What if I morph into a replica of you, phagocyting your personality, brains etc., and we kill each other?

Nelsons don’t kill each other. The curse won’t allow it

Ah. Then maybe I can get one of you into a negative matter reactor, resulting in a Snoslen, and you'll cancel each other out?

Look how far we’ve strayed from the jokes…
Let’s head back

Uhh, that actually sounds like something a @snoslen would say 0.0