Not necessarily- people can have social aversions or communications particularities or certain hobbies or fixations without autism. Just the same as you can get sad without being depressed or feel anxiety or be an anxious person without having clinical anxiety. Of course- it could also be that all or most people are “on the spectrum” but we only tend to notice those much farther to opposite ends than what is most common.
“Vibing” with someone on the spectrum doesn’t make you on the spectrum by default though- autistic people are… people. Not defined by their autism- higher functioning autistics are often unnoticed as autistic by peers and friends or even family. People with autism can be funny, have deep insights and be interesting, and “non autistic” people can find things to genuinely enjoy about the company of an individual on the spectrum just as they can any other human being.
In a bit of irony perhaps- autistic people often have trouble getting along and don’t just “vibe” together naturally. Because of some of the thought patterns and behaviors that can be common in those on the spectrum, personalities can clash and sometimes neither party has the social skills to “smooth it out.”
For example- many on the spectrum may go on long, detailed monologues. In other groups, people usually pick up on cadence of conversation or listener interest, the autistic mind tends to be more likely to miss or overlook these cues. So when 2 people on the spectrum converse there can be friction if one continues speaking when the other wants to speak- especially when the topic is only interesting to one party as a common trait in autistic behavior can be a more pronounced apathy to things one doesn’t find interesting.
Autistic people are still people and have emotions and egos and such too- so even if there is a topic both enjoy, they both may have done extensive research and have deep knowledge of it, and so as they trade information the other already knows the two can feel talked down to or see it as a challenge. Likewise- one or both may end up upset or defensive because their subject matter expertise has been undermined. Autism isn’t a personality- so the way any individual autistic person behaves or reacts isn’t simply reliant on the fact they are autistic. Media trended to make autism synonymous with genius since high functioning autistic people often go very in depth similar to OCD on things they find interesting, and the way autistic minds process information can give certain advantages in various problem solving areas depending on circumstance.
Another popular depiction is “robotic” or sociopathic almost, or as “grown ups with the minds of children.” The popular internet usage is often closer to savant crossed with perhaps robot or what was once called a term like a “geek” or “dweeb” or “nerd.”
While you may find some autistic people who could fit those descriptions to varying degrees- as said, each person is an individual. No more the same than people with manic depressive conditions or dyslexia. Certain things tend to be similar in their cognition and that means some traits or behaviors as more common or often more pronounced- but you can’t necessarily tell just by casual observation.
So getting along well with an autistic person doesn’t make you autistic and can even mean the opposite. You may communicate and socialize on ways that might not always make you get along with most people or maybe they have trouble relating to you- as a person, you can also be different without being autistic or having an atypical cognitive process. You also might just happen to share interests with this one specific autistic person. Sports fans are a good example- two people can bond over an intense interest and knowledge of the game and it’s history etc. without being autistic. This is a common example of an interest where “neurotypical” people can spend hours talking at a high level of detail on one subject. If two people in a sports bar were talking about sports- could you tell from that one exchange of one was a high functioning autistic? Most people probably couldn’t.
So autistic people can make great friends even if you aren’t autistic. If you share an intense interest, they might have all sorts of interesting information and be able to discuss the topic in depth, and have the attention span and interest to do so. Autistic friends can in some ways be easier to talk to, but there can also be some difficulties even with very high functioning autistics because of communication styles and other differences. Not so different than any new friend really.
As an autist, this rings very true. I explain it as I'm using 60% of my intellect just to function with allists and just letting go and being "normal" with another "normal" person is great. Me and a friend have had days long discussions comparing notes on paleolithic pottery and how close to metallurgy it must have been, speculating wether those early metal grains that are a by-product were how metal use got started. It's glorious.
@creativedragonbaby- sorry to cut off like that- when chaining self replies it doesn’t usually update to show someone has responded. Thank you for sharing your experience too.
@karlboll- thank you for sharing your experiences too. That’s an interesting thought- I know that there aren’t really first hand accounts of “pre history” so details can be sparse, but the entire “natural metals” explanation has always had holes for me. While gold can be found in sediment or panned from water and in theory some ores occur close enough to the surface to be seen and mined through exploration or digging for other purposes- asides perhaps gold I’ve often wondered how we get from A- seeing one type of rocks among many, and gaining an understanding this rock was “special.” It COULD just be fluke from experimentation- someone picks up a rock and can’t shape it easily etc. and realizes it is hard- but could the knowledge and experience of working with clays or gathering the materials be the spark..
That's generally the most common theory of why the most abundant metal on the surface was not used whereas "shiny" metals like copper or tin were used first. Aluminum is actual one of the most common metals but since it takes so much processing to use it didn't really show up until the industrial revolution and even then was akin to gold in price. Copper however, can be easy to spot and can become malleable with just a camp fire making it a metal that was used. Combine it with tin and you get bronze. Iron takes a bit more effort and unlike gold you generally don't find it just lying around on the surface since it tends to turn into iron oxide (rust). Interestingly iron oxide was used as a coloring agent long before iron tools came to be. After all who would look at this red dust stuff and think it was a metal.
I have a friend who is neither ADD or on the spectrum. She's just incredibly creative. So she goes down knowledge rabbit holes and is always excited to talk about her passions or other people's, but of course feels like she has to dial back most of the time. That could OP's situation.
On a bit of a downer side note (and not related to what I said above), I understand the harm in toxic positivity and framing, but othering' ppl instead of 'normalizing' them does tend to make "normal" people wonder if they are weird.
“Vibing” with someone on the spectrum doesn’t make you on the spectrum by default though- autistic people are… people. Not defined by their autism- higher functioning autistics are often unnoticed as autistic by peers and friends or even family. People with autism can be funny, have deep insights and be interesting, and “non autistic” people can find things to genuinely enjoy about the company of an individual on the spectrum just as they can any other human being.
For example- many on the spectrum may go on long, detailed monologues. In other groups, people usually pick up on cadence of conversation or listener interest, the autistic mind tends to be more likely to miss or overlook these cues. So when 2 people on the spectrum converse there can be friction if one continues speaking when the other wants to speak- especially when the topic is only interesting to one party as a common trait in autistic behavior can be a more pronounced apathy to things one doesn’t find interesting.
While you may find some autistic people who could fit those descriptions to varying degrees- as said, each person is an individual. No more the same than people with manic depressive conditions or dyslexia. Certain things tend to be similar in their cognition and that means some traits or behaviors as more common or often more pronounced- but you can’t necessarily tell just by casual observation.
@karlboll- thank you for sharing your experiences too. That’s an interesting thought- I know that there aren’t really first hand accounts of “pre history” so details can be sparse, but the entire “natural metals” explanation has always had holes for me. While gold can be found in sediment or panned from water and in theory some ores occur close enough to the surface to be seen and mined through exploration or digging for other purposes- asides perhaps gold I’ve often wondered how we get from A- seeing one type of rocks among many, and gaining an understanding this rock was “special.” It COULD just be fluke from experimentation- someone picks up a rock and can’t shape it easily etc. and realizes it is hard- but could the knowledge and experience of working with clays or gathering the materials be the spark..
On a bit of a downer side note (and not related to what I said above), I understand the harm in toxic positivity and framing, but othering' ppl instead of 'normalizing' them does tend to make "normal" people wonder if they are weird.