It took my dumbass way too long to realise you left out the word “hate”, and I was just staring at your comment and thinking, “You’re... fucking... mosquitos?”

That’s because there’s nothing to fix. :)
(Please don’t hate - I’m just trying to live up to my username)

I can’t cartwheel, and even though people say it’s not that hard, every time I have tried, it has resulted in people laughing at me and a sore head. And it’s really hard without someone actually guiding you, and at this point, I’m too scared to ask for guidance.

Yep! It’s the Disneyland one! Here is the original:
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcRfIpq42ZPt1WbdRncFfENtexl8fZR2InBjMbfwqnwENJEc4Cfc

So I actually found the article and here is the list:
1. Whisper, “I’m proud of you, sport” to her clitoris.
2. Fly to scenic Tokyo, Japan.
3. Continuously press the garage remote to elicit the constant erotic rumbling of the garage door
4. Release one new into the room.
5. Roleplay as an auctioneer who’s trying to sell off a wheelbarrow containing his own gigantic testicles
6. The thing where you grab each other’s ankles and tumble around like a human wheel.
7. Shoot the murderer.
Don’t believe me? https://lifestyle.clickhole.com/7-things-women-wish-men-would-do-during-sex-1825122711

And if that’s still not good enough, unleash the wasps.