So do other girls have that time of the month where you just straight-up can't go to sleep unless you masturbate first?

To be fair, though, I have never accidentally racked my balls between my thighs walking or gotten my dick caught in a zipper. Though I *am* required to crane my neck six inches forwards to see anything under chest level, so.... trade-offs.

Kinda makes it worse, though, cause she had even more of a leg up in the industry then.

Husband bought a fidget cube for me and I got all the way through an entire movie without checking my phone or getting up.

They don't really get aggressive till they're, like, six months old, which is why people think they can be pets sometimes. They don't make good pets. Like Derek says, they've got the emotional maturity of a toddler and the ability to crush your skull on impulse.

Is the campaign season finally over? Did he finally stop holding campaign rallies? I know they "postponed" the June 1 one.

Well, the way it's used really can't be separated from the implication that a woman should speak/exert power solely through social manipulation, and that's just.. not me. If I think a certain course is right, I will tell you, I will explain it to you, and if you do not respect me enough to value my input without my having to passive-aggressive at you, I don't actually have a use for you in my life.

Cause this is not a good sanctuary. See how obese they are, and how much trouble they're having running.

To be fair, if either (or both) partner is sufficiently fat, the logistics of getting a hand in there can be... wonky.

Dude. The least you can do for your parents is a few chores. You could try asking them how often a few basic ones need to be done so she doesn't have to ask you every time; keeping track of whether you've done them and asking you to if you haven't is also work. If it weren't, they wouldn't pay management.

Iiii'm pretty sure I'd enjoy that machine more than "wipe the tables. Oh, shit, the bathroom got dirty. Clean the bathroom. Okay, wipe the tables, they're all dirty again - wait, that kid got ketchup WHERE in the playplace? Ohhhhh, this is not ketchup." Slightly lower degree of repetition, equal meaninglessness of task, and the crank is less likely to stick my hand in toddler shit.

Biggest regret: first guy who ever asked me to dance was like the most popular dude in school. I made up some lame excuse to get out of there because I may never have seen Carrie but I could smell the pig's blood in the rafters. Now I'll never know if that was a joke or he was just trying to be nice for once.
Bonus regret points: Can't ask. He passed away five years ago.

Regardless: If people told you you're ugly when you're a kid, you're never not gonna see ugly in the mirror.

I realize I shouldn't technically approve of physical violence, but I approve of all four of those responses.

Christ, who let Trump on here?

What's paler than invisible?

Well, some guys just straight up can't take directions if the lower head is awake. I dunno if it's selfishness or they're just non compos mentis in the circumstances.

The vibrations are not for the person *wearing* the thing. Well, I mean, they CAN be.