I sent an article about this to my crush to instigate conversation

Darth Dren
Alternatively, Darth Gniyonna
Hear my names and tremble

Okay... random page: Sparkle (catamaran)
Cockpit
Royal Navy
Hundred Year's War
France
World War II
Adolf Hitler
...
*removes sunglasses* My god

The opposite of death is life, not live. And did the kid cross out the 'e' in 'care' and replace it with another e?

Expectation: post
Reality: fountains that are always too short and give out barely any water because all of that tuition money goes into the school flowerbed.

My mum used to do this to me. Now I've gotten used to it and I buy everything in giant sizes because I like them that way, and she gets annoyed because she wants me to wear normal stuff.

okay that is different

The Princess Bride! ...Sort of.

This is terrible advice wtf

Therefore and thusly, we are all stuck in a giant Team Deathmatch.

The last time I saw this story, it was a Facebook post my mom sent me, and instead of a young man there was a woman throwing starfish.

I had mine when I was ten and still young enough for it to be endearing

Read any of Terry Pratchett's Discworld books, but especially Reaper Man. Death is a sweetheart, honestly.

...is their Twitter account a K Project reference?

Who makes these? They're so funny.

I've always wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons