Also tantrums when you won't let me play with other dogs

He looks good in it. He's a dude. What's your problem?

Dachshund, not daschund. That sounds like a nigga name

Are you going to pay for 80 trillion plugs and sockets to be replaced?

TF. "You'll not"?

I'll take "shit that never happened" for $500

Emma Watson turned smoking hot in the Order of the Phoenix

Why your thumb look like that

How about staying home to take care of your own child?

Says nothing. Could be the 1525th take for all I care

My dogs are more attractive, funnier and cuter than I am, so I get it.

"Idiocracy" (2006) is becoming real

Stupid inconcise half arsed trick question. The kid is 100% correct. 75 is a good estimate because it's the actual answer.

"I don't know who that is"
"But mom, it doesn't matter who it is, it's funny!"
"I don't know who that is"

Thanks, I needed this. Going out today, can't take the doggies with me.

Skills? In golf? Triathlon requires skill, not golf.

No not every mom does that; you must've been annoying as heck playing with the damn light