Thanks Tarot

These are all just stubs, as you can see. I'll eventually get the inspiration to continue them, like I am now. I'm thinking of collecting all the first post ones into one story so it's easier.

Does anyone want to be a co-author of any of these stories?? ;-;

Should I have a Greek school and a Roman school and an Egyptian school? Or should I just pile them all together?

That sounds cool. Reminds me of Rick Riordan. You should go for it.

Pile them all together then?

Srsly tho anyone want to help me with these?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/12-Xj9Mt3AAhd9dlUz48X6N2qT-QmvPYuGKeGjBdXMqg
Here. Help me with this

@mightyoak are you able to edit or comment?

Gimmie a minute

I think you have a great start here, and I like the idea. Besides the obvious grammar edits which I assume you'll do later I think it needs more descriptions, especially in the first paragraph. I know its just the intro but the intro is the first page everyone will see. So even though it may seem useless in an intro I think you should use a lot of imagery anyways, and include some tiny detail that says something about the character. For example, describe the weather and briefly mention how the main character feels about it, then describe her cheffeur using a metaphor. These two descriptions can set the mood for the entire book, so make them good. Is she going to enjoy the Mystic school? Then make Chris be "tall as a mountain". If the school is going to be dreary and mysterious make Chris "cloaked in shadow" (use different decriptions though my examples are weak, haha). As your story goes on the decriptions definitely get better, but could use more metaphors and similes.

Ok I only read through the first page and noticed a lot of stuff. Is English your first language?

I'll read more later, but I like it so far. Just needs yo be polished, burn in interested how it's going to turn out as a whole. Good job so far

Really pack on the imagery. A lot of the time as writers we think we're going to use too much imagery and bore the readers, and we want to get to the exciting parts of the story and imagery takes time. But if you read Stephen King he spends an entire page just describing someone's hair. Trust me, it's much easier to cut instead of add. Pretend you're reading your story aloud to a blind person. That's my only note, but I definitely think you have the start of a great story here!

It's sorta like how you ice up a cake. Too much, and people will just scrape off frosting so they can stomach a few bites, People can't do that with book, unless they do the worst and literally flip through pages until they settle somewhere less draining. Excess rarely goes into good things, keeping everything as much as it only needs to be goes a long way more than ten pages of Herman Melville explaining in detail how the ship is good at whaling. Man I hated that book. It was like a really old fancy person was telling me how matches worked off the assumption I was an idiot.

Yeah, you guys wanna help me with descriptions of faces? I'm trash at that. I can do clothes, hair and such but not faces.
Thanks for the tips, though usually I have no trouble writing an intro, (you can see in my other chat) I just felt the one I had written was a bit too scrappy.

See how actors change their face and describe how they look in scenes, just to get a feel for how people react with emotion or lack thereof to different scenarios.

Thanks. You've also got to take into consideration the character's past. Do they have a scar? Have they broken an arm or leg?

Hello?