guest_ · 6 years ago
Maybe so. It's happened before. My personal advice? Whatever. If she's gay she's gay. She'll either embrace it when she's ready or deny it forever and you can't carry the emotional burden of coming out or living in denial for her. It sounds like confronting her sexuality won't be constructive. But either way the fact is if she's making you uncomfortable she has no right. Approach the conversation from that angle. Don't bring sexuality into it and if she does just tell her it's not about gay or straight it's about your space and boundaries. Set your limits and enforce them. She'll respect it or won't. If she doesn't it's up to you if you live with it or cut her lose as a "friend" who can't respect you. Either way unless you want to suffer in silence you have to set her straight or walk away so may as well have a potentially awkward talk and work to save things than walk away without her knowing what she did wrong and having a chance to change.
dash224 · 6 years ago
Yeah it just makes me uncomfortable. I’ll tell her that but I just feel like she’ll get offended.
guest_ · 6 years ago
I know. It sucks, it's easy to tell people what they should do but hard to actually do it. But maybe she will be offended- but is her not being offended more important than you being made uncomfortable? Pretend she was a guy friend who said he was gay but you weren't sure and he was always seeming to "come on" to you. If she was a man, would that change how you feel? I'm not saying this to scare you or insult your friend- but I know women who have been raped by women. One went drinking with a group and drank so much she couldn't remember the night before. At some point the group split and the "friend" that took her home slept with her while she was black out drunk. She figured it out the next morning. Another went on a trip and didn't have money but her "friend" said she'd cover it all. They got there and she was pressured into doing things because if she upset the "friend" she would be broke and alone a thousand miles from home.
guest_ · 6 years ago
I'm saying this because both those women felt something wrong but didn't speak up and they didn't take steps to protect themselves. It's not their fault the other women took advantage of them, but it could have possibly been avoided. There's others, and plenty of women I know have had sexual assaults by other women. Most don't mind much and that's their business if they want friends who grope them or ogle them from time to time. But if you're uncomfortable gay or not- that's a serious issue and as a friend she needs to get over herself and her feelings and respect your rights and wishes. If a guy friend was offended you wouldn't kiss them or offended that you wouldn't take off your clothes would that change your mind? Do you boo boo. You don't have to be a jerk, but you have to be in your own corner on this one because you're not happy with how things are and it's your right to ask for respect.
deleted · 6 years ago
She's probably in Narnia at the moment.