I'm going to tell you something. Why you shouldn't kill yourself. Ever.
Imagine you're sitting on some social networking site. Doesn't matter which one. Just as long as it has a place to make some sort of conversation with another user. You strike up a conversation with someone. You find out that you have a ton of things in common. You befriend them. You talk every day. Then, one day, they don't respond. You figure they were just busy. The next day, they're back. You ask them where they were, and they tell you they got tied up. Their schedule was packed. So you ask them how their day was, what they did. They tell you it was a pretty rough day. That it's been a rough week. Bad stuff keeps happening. You tell them everything will turn out okay. Little do you know, that thing they got tied up with? They were in the hospital. They had attempted suicide because they thought that it wouldn't get better. Luckily, a friend or family member or someone had found them in time and saved them.
But they don't want to worry another person, so they don't tell you. But they still feel like they can't make it another day if all the terrible things that have been happening keep happening. You talk more, but the most you know is that nothing's been going their way. A few days pass. Everything goes normally, but you know their life hasn't gotten any better. A week later, it happens again. They don't reply. First it was just the day. Then it continues for a week. A month. You miss talking to them. You still go on with your daily life, but thoughts of them take up your mind. You try not to worry, but that one comment about how bad things were makes you even more worried. What could have happened to them? All you know is their name, so there's no way to know. You start to wonder. "What if they killed themself? What if they were murdered? What if..." There's no way to know for sure.
I am terrified of this. Whenever someone talks about how they want to die, I think of this.
And I get scared. I keep a close watch on them. I check their tumblr or their profile as often as I can to make sure they're still posting. Even if I'm not your friend, the second I see that comment saying you want to die, I start worrying. I know it's selfish to say this, but please -- PLEASE -- take some weight off my shoulders and promise me I won't lose you. You think no one cares but I do. I can't live with the guilt of knowing that I could have made a difference if I had just tried harder. So please. Please. Don't.
I said yesterday to my Language Arts class that there's a lot of bad crap in this world, and something I want to do before I die is help get rid of at least some of it. Suicide is on that list of stuff I want to get rid of, and if I can save even just one person, I'll feel better. If I managed to inspire you not to commit suicide, thank /you/ for heeding my words.
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Edited 9 years ago
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· 9 years ago
You have an enormous heart cat. I think it is great that you care so much for people, and I have no doubt that you will do and are doing, amazing things in this life. I just hope that god forbid, if someone you know actually does commit suicide, you know and understand that there's only so much one person can do and ultimately the responsibility to live or die resides within each of us. Otherwise you spend a lifetime carrying a huge weight of grief and responsibility that is not yours to carry, thinking that you could've done more or should've tried harder and maybe they would still be here. I lost a friend to suicide and it haunted me for years.
It would definitely be hard for me to move on. It's been about a year since I first watched Doomsday (Doctor Who) and I still haven't gotten over Rose leaving, so I can't bear to imagine losing a real friend. The only death I've ever encountered is both my grandfathers, and I was only nine and not very close to either so it didn't affect me much, and I'm just thankful that my experience with death is so small. I can only imagine another person's, especially if it was a good friend or close family member. At least I think the people I'm friends with aren't suicidal. I'm glad for that. I'm sorry you had to lose your friend. Sometimes life has a funny way of doing things.
I said this on another related thread and it bears repeating here.
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I can't just say "It will get better." I feel as though that it is paying a contrived lip service to the affected persons feelings and current place in life. I do not know how they truly feel at their core, I have not experienced their life through their eyes. Their life could get better... but I don't know that.
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However, I can say that committing suicide prevents it from ever getting better perminantly. Pick up the phone, reach out, find help, talk... anything. Life is worth fighting for, experiencing more of it is worth fighting for.
.
Please be strong just a little longer, wait for at least another sunrise and find... something... it's worth it.
Imagine you're sitting on some social networking site. Doesn't matter which one. Just as long as it has a place to make some sort of conversation with another user. You strike up a conversation with someone. You find out that you have a ton of things in common. You befriend them. You talk every day. Then, one day, they don't respond. You figure they were just busy. The next day, they're back. You ask them where they were, and they tell you they got tied up. Their schedule was packed. So you ask them how their day was, what they did. They tell you it was a pretty rough day. That it's been a rough week. Bad stuff keeps happening. You tell them everything will turn out okay. Little do you know, that thing they got tied up with? They were in the hospital. They had attempted suicide because they thought that it wouldn't get better. Luckily, a friend or family member or someone had found them in time and saved them.
I am terrified of this. Whenever someone talks about how they want to die, I think of this.
.
I can't just say "It will get better." I feel as though that it is paying a contrived lip service to the affected persons feelings and current place in life. I do not know how they truly feel at their core, I have not experienced their life through their eyes. Their life could get better... but I don't know that.
.
However, I can say that committing suicide prevents it from ever getting better perminantly. Pick up the phone, reach out, find help, talk... anything. Life is worth fighting for, experiencing more of it is worth fighting for.
.
Please be strong just a little longer, wait for at least another sunrise and find... something... it's worth it.
1-800-273 TALK (8255)
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
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In the UK:
08457 909090
http://www.samaritans.org
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In Australia:
13 11 14
http://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/
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This community is hugely international and I call apon the residents of Fun Substance to reply with prevention and intervention contact information from their nation.