I wish I could afford one of those

Shit, I'm one of these guys, but in a labcoat

They hired people to be NPCs, why isn't this a job today? I want to hand out swords to beginner adventurers while saying "It's dangerous to go alone"

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/ea/eaaf845200cbfe885bef8302fb6a4c401ad197a357cb86db0ee023369c331823.jpg