Asian Jimmy Kimmel

Deadpool.

I'd tell him to tuck it in, but I'd have to be specific.

Trump refused to take part in this meeting.

The Flash is a perfect example of why I hate DC. Nothing travels at the speed of light, except light. Read a fucking physics book.

A dragon would be a subtlety hotter version of myself.

This is the usual defence of asshole guys. "It's not like I'm stoning you to death for driving, I'm just harassing you verbally in a culture where 1 in 4 women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime, showing unprovoked sexual aggression to a total stranger. What's wrong with that?"
I'm a man, and I'm a feminist. Call me a feminazi to my face and I promise you it ends badly for you.

Right, because when a 6 foot tall man hits a 5 foot tall woman, the injuries are equal, right? This false equivalency bullshit is old. The crazy ex girlfriend that sets your clothes on fire is not the same as a crazy ex boyfriend that stalks you and kills your pets.

Without hesitation.

You obviously haven't been on the internet before. Internet rule #34.

When Pete converts to no kill shelters, then Pete can be part of the conversation. Until the Pete can shut their hypocritical fucking mouth.

Dude couldn't remember who he was supposed to be jacking it to.

Great, he can fuck up Wolverine like he fucked up Bane. The man can't act.

Can we end this fucking meme already. It wasn't funny the first million times.

Witcher 3

Who gives a fuck?

I feel like I need subtitles with this.

God is not a name, but a job description.

Flat earthers have been moved near the top of my list of people who should be killed.

That would assume Trump can speak in complete sentences.

Let the bodies hit the floor!!!!!!

It's not my fault you're a Wookie.

Most Pagani calendars had 13 lunar months. It's why the church didn't want to use them and went with 12 instead.

Graph is a little simplistic. If a poor person fuck over the system we loose a few hundred dollars a month in welfare benifits. If a rich person fucks over the system, the housing market collapses, the middle class looses their homes, the economy looses several trillion dollars, and the the middle class has to bail out the rich to save the economy. This is what they mean when they talk about income inequality.