Attempted this. Couldn't get hula hoops into the mug. Fail.

If my family of 4 goes outside at the same time, everyone does the same activity, and wears the same covering amount of clothing: I'm the ONLY one who ever winds up with mosquito bites. I'm used to it, but I mean, COME ON!!!

I was really hoping it would all come pouring out... kinda disappointed.

You should always say congratulations- unless it was following the statement "I was raped" then you can apply the "oh shit" comment and ask them what they need your help with.
Marriage has nothing to do with it. Age (generally) has nothing to do with it.

Mine is my daughter playing catcher on her softball team. It's generally a picture of my kids.

http://www.snopes.com/woman-sets-her-husband-on-fire-for-raping-daughter/
Sorry to be a buzzkill...

That's awesome! I'll be in NY soon, maybe I can pick a few up at the airport!

I have that same mop and a swiffer. I HATE the swiffer. It doesn't do any better than my mop, still have to touch that nasty pad thing- or I could just use soap and water and just wash the floor... mop wins!

I've never had it go off because of my cooking... I've had it go off when I blew out a freaking candle though.

Insert sarcastic political comment

Is that McLovin?

Wrong floor again!

Ladies, ladies! You're both pretty! Can I go home now?

Reminds me of "FuckAss"
Loved those mix and match proverbs...