Jim Hanson's first commercials. Lol and if you notice how one puppet looks so much like Kermit lol

OK now THIS is my favorite version of the meme. Damn it. Lol it keeps getting better.

My brother almost died due to a quicksand like mud called Caliche.It is a sturdy hard dirt almost as tough as concert when dry but wet it will kill you and it isn't a slow death it is like being sucked down into mud hell.
See there is a big plot of land in my hometown NO ONE OWNS because it is all caliche.It is fenced off so animals won't go in.My brother sees that walmart is on the other side of this field and thinks "I got an idea.I will go THRU this feild and make it to walmart faster.Saving me a good 2 or 3 minutes."Half way through he stepped onto a large patch of what looked like solid dirt.Nope caliche.See it had been raining for the past 2 weeks and this was the first time it stopped and that ground was now soup.He went stright up to his waist.He would of gone deeper if it wasn't for him grabbing a broad laying there.He "swam" for his life.He came out caked in about 50 pounds of mud.If he died we would of never found him because NO ONE BUT HIM IS DUMB ENOUGH TO GO THERE!

When you pretend to be nuns to get cheaper seats.

How to know when you are to stupid to function. lol

My daughter is 10 and yesterday she was jumping all over the place because she wanted to go to the store and spend her 30 bucks she earned doing odd jobs around the house. (We do it to keep her busy in summer. The jobs range from cleaning out toy box to clean bathroom and even read x amount of books.) Well she was driving me insane. "When will Daddy be off work? When will he get here? Can we go to Toys R Us? Can I buy a candy?" FINALLY I snap and say "Will you sit down and calm your titts! He will be here soon!" My kid just looked me dead in the eye and said."But I don't have tits to calm."
(0.0)(-.-)(0.0) That is when I realize what I said. lol

I think it is sweet to pick flowers for a girl. Lol But don't bring the roots and the whole bush lmao.
Well unless you have it in a pot and thought she like to plant it. But then please buy them lol

She is on Gates McFadden's lap lol.

FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT! lmao I been waiting for this. I noticed it when the stupid things first came out. But my husband and everyone I know doesn't watch the show so they had no idea what I was talking about. (-.-) I need new friends. Ones that like sci-fi

"Oh shit" from teens till they say 'WE/I' want kids. "Congratulations" from than till they have about 3 or 4. Than it is back to "oh shit"

That is why if I feel like I need extra time I stand away from the front and look the menu over till I feel I am ready. But man I hate when I am the only one in line and the cash register person just stands there like "well hurry up". It makes me feel like saying "Damn bitch give me a second I am dyslexic as fuck and I forgot my glasses at home so I am blinder than a 100 year old lady in the dark. So go chop lettuce till I am ready." But I am a nice person and so I say "ummmm... I guess I will just have what I usally order. A chicken sandwich, no mayo. Yes large (because yes I am a fat ass). Thankyou." (-.-)

This came out as a parody to Nut & Honey crunch cearl. In the cearl commercials the wife would ask what the husband is eating and he say Nut N honey. Which sounds like nothing honey. It was really a bunch of dumb commercials lol. So you see why they did the parody.
Here is one of them:
https://youtu.be/Bzapn4PAPaQ

You mean guy jumps in hottub forgetting he has his phone in his pocket and throws it out of the hot tub into the pool

There is stuff crust so there is a little joy lol

"Don't mind me just a hermit crab minding his own buissness."
"Me to, me to. Just a hermit crab... wait... Dave is that you?"
"O shit hank man what up? Good job on your hermit crab I seriously believed you."
"You to man. I seriously believed you. Why do think I was pretending to be one?"

My parents were the birds lol

You can refuse. All the people on the show willing go on it.

When I was 5 my Dad almost didn't come home. He was a firefighter and he was on the roof of a two story house poking holes in the roof to let smoke out. Well the roof was shot to began with and he triped. He fell through the roof through the 2nd floor through the 1st floor and landed flat on concert in the basement. They say if it wasn't for each floor slowing him down he would of died. He spent a whole month in ICU and another 2 weeks in the hospital. I just remember a bunch of tubes stuck all over him.
After that he started working for a position in State firemarshal. It was safer.

I love spoils tell me all the movie secrets. I even look up movie endings to see if I will like the movie. My husband hates Being told the ending so it is SOOOOO freaking hard to see movies or tv shows with him.

"How long me have to do this mom!"
"Till I can afford to replace the towels you ruined!"
"I going to be here forever you also broke!"

Lol that's terrible and so funny