I understand the joke part of it. But for the OP's original statement, which doesn't sound like he's joking, he makes it sound like his virginity has anything to do with being arrested or what his time would be like in jail.
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Provided he tells no one, no one will know. And even if they DID... unless the crime he committed was severe enough that he won't get out of jail for decades, and he's experiencing a fear of missing out I guess

I mean, I enjoyed Roald dahl's book about that kid that got turned into a rat by a bunch of witches who were eating the kids (or something, idr) and the book ends with the kid being happy he can't be human again because rats have short lifespans, so he likely won't outlive his grandmother.
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This makes that look far more sane. Lol but I suppose the sequel to a movie about nearly murdering children over and over for bad behaviour could hardly be expected to be anything less than bizarre

Idk.. They won't tell me..

You should know I have a bad habit of interpreting comments like this as a challenge

MAGICALLY delicious

Do you own a dog? Currently only accept members who own dogs. It's a kind of screening process...
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If this does not appeal to you, however, for a low price of I think only a couple thousand dollars, you can pay to have some black women come to your house and tell you all the ways you're secretly a racist
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[^not a joke]

I can still hear you cheer you would never break zanjeer

I still have some of those somewhere around

You really prepared to take on Marvel, Disney, DC, Wizards of the Coast, Sony, Funimation, Rooster Teeth, Twitch, Twitter, YouTube, Patreon, MasterCard, People Magazine, L'oreal, and at least 50% of Hollywood? Just as the warm-up rounds, I mean

He was just channelling his inner thanos

I fixed the links I think.. Didn't realize they were broken before. But on the downside I now know multiple people are of the opinion that the only reason a white person would like a dog is because they want to own a Black person

Would I lie to you?
Reasons white people own dogs:
https://mobile.twitter.com/ladypalerider/status/1151121412960268288?lang=en
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The orcs are racist thing I can't link to the entire thing because the SJWs won that one, and orcs are getting an overhaul or being banned in certain rpgs etc. None of the people doing the banning are questioning why they look at an orc and see a Black person, mind you.. Because I certainly never did. And I'm pretty sure most black people never self-identified with orcs. But there you go.
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Here's at least one of the starting points for that mess, though:
https://www.penthouse.com.au/Portals/0/EasyDNNNews/thumbs/787/3090ORCS-ERACIST.jpg
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I'm not saying there's a direct link between Twitter and blathering morons with too much time on their hands... but all these posts came from Twitter. You come to your own conclusions

They benjamin buttoned her? Good grief

Sounds like you've got a bone to pick with them

Where I come from, we call them escalators