As someone that caused and ended a war can confirm that Commander Cake is a bed wetter

Thanks things are gonna get livelyyyyyy

wHY NOT UN-ALIVELY!?!?!?!?!

I'M NOT GONNA UNALIVE A PEEP YET I JUST GOT BACK CAN'T HAVE CAP GIVING ME THE GOOD OL' KILLING PEOPLE IS ILLEHAL DEADPOOL SPEECH

I WILL UNALIVE MYSELF TO BREAK THE CHAIN OF PEACE

AHHHH HELL NAH YOU AINT DOING IT CAUSE I WAS PAID TO UNALIVE YA

YOU CAN'T UNALIVE ME, NOBODY UNALIVES ME BUT ME

TRY ME!!! I'LL UNALIVE YOU SO HARD YOU'LL FEEL IT IN THE AFTERLIFE

HELL NO, I'LL UNALIVE ME SO HARD THAT I'LL FEEL SO MUCH PAIN AND FEEL ALIVE ANYWAYS

I WILL HAVE THE HULK SIT ON YOU AND GIVE YOU HIS BEAN CURRY FARTS THAT'LL KILL 7XS IN A ROW

YEAH, WELL, THAT MAKES YOU A SMELLY CANCER BABY

I WAS CREATED BECAUSE OF CANCER. GAWD DID YOU NOT WATCH THE NEW MOVIE

YES, HENCE WHY YOU'RE A SMELLY CANCER BABY

I DON'T SMELL YET I JUST SHOWERED AND HAVEN'T BUT ON MY MISSION SUIT YET

YOUR MISSION SUIT IS A GIANT SWEATY TACTICAL BODY-SOCK WITH POCKETS

PERFECT FOR GYMS NO ONE KNOWS WHOSE THE SMELLIEST THERE

WHAT'S THE USE IF YOU'RE ONLY PLANNING ON FIGHTING IN A GYM!?!?!?!?!?

YOU NEED A STALK YOUR PRAY

MAKES SENSE TO STALK THEM IN A PLACE WHERE THEY CAN ONLY RUN ON A TREADMILL

THEY CAN HIDE

IF THEY CAN HIDE FROM YOU, YOU'RE NOT A VERY PROFICIENT STALKER >:U

I AM PROFICIENT IN STALKING TVAT I EVEN LOSE MYSELF

THAT IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD

NEVAAAA