granlobomalo comments - FunSubstance

granlobomalo

"All the better to eat you with, my dear.”
I huffed and I puffed,
And the house blew apart,
I’m leaving for now,
But you’re all in my heart.
[Feb 2019]

— granlobomalo

Share Contacts

Report User

Should I ?? 5 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Go Super Saiyan Ultimate Dad Joke and call him ‘Father Son’.

Top of Mount Everest :P 4 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

The flags left behind by every party that reached the summit previously. Or trash, depending on how you look at it.

I always wanted a pet rat 8 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

You’ve found an ally, @defau0lt, who will attest to that fact.

5 · Edited 5 years ago

I always wanted a pet rat 8 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

They say that rats are actually highly intelligent. But rat owners who give their pets creative Rick and Morty names are even more intelligenter.

39 · Edited 5 years ago

The motivation I deserved but did not need 4 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

This meme would be an exponentially more impressive feat if the word ‘after’ were replaced with the word ‘while’.

1 · Edited 5 years ago

First drug deal recorded in history 2 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

And of course, the criminals were illegal aliens.

6 · Edited 5 years ago

He died for our presents. 9 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

If you liked Elf on a Shelf then you’ll love Santa’s Wrists on a Crucifix.

Perfection 2 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

This is historic art’s version of a police artist sketch from someone who might’ve seen a tiger or maybe it was a lion but it all happened so fast that they just can’t be sure.

9 · Edited 5 years ago

Dedication 2 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

When ‘keeping it real’ goes a hairline fracture too far.

That ain't cool 3 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

A technique also known as the ‘Senator Larry Craig Stretch’.

Meet me outside 1 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Okay, why don’t we just paws for a minute. I’m not looking fur trouble. I couldn’t Spot the tennis balls anywhere. But when I asked you where is it, boy, you growled at me like it was my fault you had to fetch them. I shouldn’t have to beg for service, but you shouldn’t just roll over for rude customers, either. So let’s stop howling at the moon before this situation becomes a dog’s breakfast. Shake?

· Edited 5 years ago

Relationship goals 4 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Sounds like you found your soulmate.

Lava exploding next to a tourist boat 4 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Advertisement: Enjoy the vacation of a lifetime. Because you won’t live to tell about it.

4 · Edited 5 years ago

Dog pickup line 5 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because I thought I picked Mounds but instead I got a Chunky.
Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because you made a lot of noise going down but once I’m through with you I’ll leave you empty and discarded.
Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because I feel like if I’d held out a little longer, I could’ve had something much better for me.

· Edited 5 years ago

Sounds ideal 13 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

@famousone I’m legitimately curious, what do they do to prepare you for a real battle situation and all of the related crossfire and chaos? I imagine they can’t simulate, say, a child with a bomb strapped to itself - can they? How do they get you (mentally?) ready for those real life or death situations?

Pretty appropriate 2 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Holy. Mooseknuckle. I called the number. The call goes directly to voicemail and says, to paraphrase, ‘Hello, this is Carlton. Let me know if you want me to do it. Let me know what your favorite cars are, what shapes they are, what sounds they make so I *laughs nervously* so I know what I’m doing. And let me know if this is for kids... or if you want me to do it nude.’ *beep*

13 · Edited 5 years ago

SAVAGE 11 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

@under_fire I think you might be right. One way you could do it would be to stack the (perfectly aligned, absolutely identical) apples on top of each other. Cut 3/7 from the stacked whole apples (2 cuts). Cut 3/7 from the stacked 4/7 apples (1 cut). You’re left with six 3/7 apples and three 1/7 apples. Everyone eats 3/7 equally - and you can use the fourth cut to stab the creator of this riddle.

9 · Edited 5 years ago

Smoosh the head boob 3 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

I prefer my ‘Squishy Skull Seizure’ theory. 9 out of 10 students who took a 1-unit marine biology class to have enough credits to graduate agree.

▼

Yuuuuuup 7 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

FunSubster from Iraq: *timidly raises hand* ‘I mean, if you’re speaking literally, then...’

4 · Edited 5 years ago

Smoosh the head boob 3 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

What they don’t show is that sea creature having a seizure when the clip ends from having its brain rattled and squished.

▼ · Edited 5 years ago

How to measure remaining daylight with your hand 9 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Would it not work if you pick the mountain that the sun is closest to setting behind?

2 · Edited 5 years ago

How to measure remaining daylight with your hand 9 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Huh. Well, how about that? For anyone else who thought this was an incredibly useful and really handy little hack, you can find more like this one here: (https://www.artofmanliness.com/)

3 · Edited 5 years ago

So average 5 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

You may be a mediocre student but college is where you are supposed to discover your talents. It just turns out that yours is being an exceptional bullshitter.

Need to buy these now 3 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Yes, no one will catch on if they see a plate full of identical cookies with identical bite marks in each one.

To be fair, who wouldn't? 8 comments

granlobomalo · 5 years ago

Because he’s using outdated 2016 world census figures.

8 · Edited 5 years ago