I'm fairly certain that the o.p. hasn't actually seen an American cooking show. Japanese, maybe, but not American.

I bet she's probably naked under that. Call it a win, buddy.

The boy REALLY likes his grandma...

You want your identity stolen? Because that's how you get your identity stolen.

No loss there.

...but not by much.

Better way to answer this:
Okay, then note "If Saleen is traveling in a car with 50km/h on a road of 300 km, how much time will it take to arrive?"
"6 hours, and your girl is m-"
"Is that before the bomb I place on your car goes off, or after?"

Well, if the teacher says so....wait a minute...

This is cool. Where would I find something like that?

I wish I had been cool enough to think of this in high school. Those students are EPIC.

That theater is going to need a thorough cleaning afterwards.

And this is why we test medicines on pigs - they are so much like humans.

Oh, you aren't really interested in the sport. You just want porn in real life.
You are doing it wrong, knucklehead.