I thought they had arms to like, catch fish from the river for food.

Wait, so you’re telling me that people outside of Australia don’t bring crocodiles to baby showers?

I feel like this is perfect for Monopoly, where people get aggressive enough to break it.

Okay, that whale pun was an absolute krill-er.

Props to them! That looks amazing!
Also, is it just me or does the girl in the red dress have a really, really small waist? Or is it just the angle?

I come from a Fijian/Indian family and my mum has told me that if I am still single by 25, she will organise an arranged marriage for me (unless I become a doctor).

Aw, how faithful- Oh.

My cousin’s parrot had it’s cage right next to the phone, and learnt how to mimic the ring tone perfectly. Then, it would constantly troll my cousins by randomly screeching the ring tone, and they would never know whether to run down because they could never know when it was real or fake.

I sort of do this. If I’m responding to a rude email, I finish with “regards” instead of “kind regards”.

Or maybe you were supposed to live up to 692 years old but now you’ve cut it down to 89 or something

If the lion told you that, how do you know that it’s telling the truth or lion?

The thing that concerns and pisses me off is the fact that the driver of the car (in the last picture) is on the phone. Don’t text and drive, people!

In response to the title, no, this is not how you get a cat. This is how the cat gets you.

I didn’t even realise that there was any resemblance between the number 3 and balls until this very moment.