It's great and all, but once I get in there, I won't want to come out or I'll get so lost in a book that I'll just kind of forget how long I've been in the toilet for.

Dude, okay, I can never draw an even and good looking love heart no matter how hard I try. The fact that he can draw a love heart with his left hand without making it look like a meatloaf is impressive!

At first, I thought it meant 'shot' as in a gunshot.
But oooohhh. I get it now.

Okay, so when I saw the word 'doll', I imagined it to be the size of a barbie doll and that just conjured weird images in my head.

The sad thing is that I have nothing to hide on my phone but I still start sweating like a hooker in church.

Well, you obviously didn't hang up quick enough then.

Now imagine sticking that to the back.

My friends put pepper in my hot chocolate once, and of course I could taste it, but I just swallowed it and pretended it tasted even better than usual. Later on, I caught them trying to tear to see whether it actually made it taste better or not. They were not impressed.

It took every ounce of self-control I have to not work it out and comment the answer.
But since I don't actually have that much of self-control, the answer I got was 1127.

Destroy fidget spinners (if they are being used by people who don't need them).

Are friends supposed to shake their head disappointedly at you and then walk away without saying a word?
Because, if that's the case, it definitely works.

He certainly has a thing for Australia.

That pun, though! You otter be ashamed of yourself!

I hope he updates us soon! I must know how he is!

I don't know why, but a common euphemism in my old school was 'I spilt the milk at the dinner table', which left all the poor young boys wondering why the hell their female classmates were spontaneously dropping glasses of milk throughout the entire year.

So, like, an apocalypse?

Actually, no joke, this kid in my old school was really slow but then he started watching this show and running like this. I'm not sure if he just practised a lot or this actually helps, but he became one of the faster kids in school.
And he said that in races, when you're running alongside someone and there is no clear winner, it's easier to win because your head is ducked and pushed forwards so you cross the line first.
Not sure how much he was bluffing, but man, he became fast.

And "meow" in homeowner.

Well, that last person must be fun at parties.

@title
I would be looking sad too if someone dressed me up as a minion.

The kid looks like he knows exactly what is about to happen.

Lorde can't be the Burger Queen. She did say that she'll never be royal.