My mom NEVER EVER let's us say swear words in front of her or she will hit us with what ever is easiest to throw at us. Soda bottles,silver wear, shoes, one time my 2nd to youngest brother was hit with a cat lmao. I live in California while she lives in Texas and I am STILL afraid to cuss when I call her lmao. I am 35 years old lmao

Jobs I will NEVER EVER HAVE!!!

Just because you dated someone doesn't mean you are bf and gf. I once was dating a guy for a month we went on about 6 dates and saw each other every day in school. My sophomore year. But we just never called ourselves as bf and gf.

I don't need to wear my glasses to see your punk ass. I will take them off kick your ass than put them back on.
Because I will need them to see what hospital I need to send the piece I rip off you.
I grew up only girl of 6 kids I can fight. lol And I don't stop till Mama pulls us apart. But guess what my Mama isn't here.

Sometimes you ask yourself "Have I been on the internet to long?" Than you see a post like this and think "YUP time to get off!"

I had a friend in highschool who got SUPER drunk and we put her to bed in our other friends roommates bed because he was on the night shift. Well that is what we thought. He was in there and sleeping a drunken night of his own. Some point we hear voices and we go to check on her. They were tearing about his room looking for condoms for after about an hour of telling her to stop and we will take her home the guy finally says it's fine that they can't find them just go on home I am gay anyways.
We told her what happen and she thinks that is by far her favorite story about her self lol

Happy birthday Mama!

The wheel is the best discovery. Almost every single thing we have is thanks to the wheel.

Oooooooor because Valentine's day is in February and EVERYONE loves him!

Seriously first there was purse dogs and now they are giving them their own cars lol

You know the girls who are conjoined that are teachers now, Abby and Brittany Hensel? Well they have 1 paycheck but the school splits the check in half and each get a half.

I have acute epiglottitis (supraglottitis) it is what actually killed George Washington. It is when the little flap of flesh that covers the hole to your lungs so food and liquid don't enter your lungs doesn't work properly and you can have your lungs collapse or fill up with liquid or food. Every breath I take could be my last.
.
How I got it was from a really bad cold. I was coughing so bad that I threw out my voice. I had to use a cold medicine that was a throat spray just so I could talk. When the cold was gone I still couldn't stop coughing. I carried water to sip so the coughing would subside. Doctor's at first kept saying it was asthma. But it wasn't till I finally had an attack in front of a doctor where my lungs collapse did they finally tell me what I really had.

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their ability to give you your junk mail and bills. lmao

LMFAO I love his mom lol

So what you are telling me is I should give Johnny Depp a call? I had no clue he even knew me.