Mines a picture of the cover of the book Twilight, only instead of an apple the person is holding a Pokeball and it says 'you must catch them all' in dramatic letters.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.

I don't remember going on an acid trip...

I hate how accurate this is

Friends don't let friends skip leg day

I have never related to a small kitten more

*begins to tear up* That...that was beautiful

My mother always used men's deodorant because it was more effective. The names are rubbish but it works. And I use that exact cucumber deodorant, it smells amazing

Now you're going to sit on Jake you sick bastard

Someone better get out the barbecue sauce, cause this guy just got ROASTED

I enjoy Pewdiepie's videos and I respect him for enduring all of the hate he has been receiving his entire Youtube career

I'm 23 and have no plans of marrying yet, but my best friend (also 23) is getting married soon and I'm the maid of honour. I suppose if you think you're ready for marriage, nothing should stop you. 23 is not too young by any means.

I don't have a dog, but I do have a cat who wakes me up by stepping on my face and meowing for food

That man is who I aspire to be in life