Therefore and thusly, we are all stuck in a giant Team Deathmatch.

The last time I saw this story, it was a Facebook post my mom sent me, and instead of a young man there was a woman throwing starfish.

I had mine when I was ten and still young enough for it to be endearing

Read any of Terry Pratchett's Discworld books, but especially Reaper Man. Death is a sweetheart, honestly.

...is their Twitter account a K Project reference?

Who makes these? They're so funny.

I've always wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons

Mine would just be a mess of "fuck this", "oh my god this ship is killing me", and random outdated memes

But what is a thot?

Imagine your OTP

At my school last year, some of the boys started calling our young math teacher Daddy [Name], but in private. On the last day, we had Math, and nearly the whole in class stood up when he entered and chorused, "Good morning, Daddy [Name]."
Later, kids were giving their "leaving the school" speeches at the high school assembly, and a super straight-laced girl in my class said, "...And, finally, I've enjoyed all my classes... especially math with Daddy [Name]."
Our math teacher joined the school last year and he already wants to quit.

Hahahaha, read The Wheel Of Time.

She is the true hero

Goddammit, Saruman

I had a few cacti but they all died

keep him