I have *literally* allocated 10 minutes of my morning routine to this. I’ve worked out how to plan my morning so that I can spend exactly 10 minutes staring at the wall and internally screaming into the abyss.

What were they even trying to say?

Chapter 17: In Which The Plot Has Gone Off The Rails And The Protagonist Has Left The Book
Alternatively,
Chapter 17: what the f*ck

I’ve never even seen this show and my heart is hurting

Is this a Night Vale episode?

Green chilies are honestly worse than red ones

“I want to see my little boy”

Birds have regional accents, according to a — birdologist? — I met this summer

I saw this in 2014 and proceeded to make my own version, except instead of Sebastian I said Alois. Every day I wake up thankful that that period of my life has passed.

I tried to say “who knows” and “lord knows” at the same time yesterday and I said “whore knows”

THE BAND OF THEBES. My friend and I drafted a sitcom for this once. And by “drafted a sitcom” I mean we exchanged potential dialogues for half an hour and then never spoke of it again.

Oh man I rewatched the duck song just recently with a friend, and we sang along to the whole thing. What a classic. The Hamlet of shitposting.

My heart just spontaneously combusted. I genuinely felt it.

A bunch of drunk assholes did it in The World’s End first

This is probably the hundredth time I’m reading this, and I’m still crying

Honestly I think Da Vinci would approve of this interpretation

A friend of mine actually did this! Only, he actually confessed to his prank at the very end and then ran for it.

This is honestly kind of annoying now that I’m in high school. It may be cute when kids do it, but not anymore. I remember last year a white girl in my class was talking to her equally white friend who had gotten *marginally* tanner over summer, telling her, “Oh my goddddd you look actually like an actual Indian person!”
Cue my ‘actual Indian person’ self staring blankly at her from across the room for the next minute.

This is me in nine years

FINALLY. WE DID SOMETHING RIGHT.

Thank you! I had a whole argument with my parents about this just recently. People just don’t think about this side of things - they don’t consider it a reality.