Ask permission, you might be suprised.

Hang a piece of chicken 6-12" over a bucket of soapy water. The wasps will leave you alone to eat their chicken. When they've had their fill, they will try to fly away. Since they've never been so full before, most of them will miscalculate the energy it requires to take off with that much load, and into the bucket they go.

Only thing more powerful is if he was playing a guitar.

I would like to see these people held accountable for violationg their oath to protect and uphold the constitution.

The statement about cold welding in space is a bit of an exaggeration.

I can't quit you, Mohammad.

Doctors far in the future may look at today's surgeons as uninformed butchers.

*Lights flash. *Alarm goes off.
"I'm sorry ma'am. You'll have to use the other door."

That must be 71% rubbing alcohol.

close enough!

should be fine

Ok gents, here's the plan:
When she inevitably asks you to go dancing, say yes, no big deal.
Then, when you get out on the floor with her, pull out the craziest, most awkward retarted outlandish moves you can muster. Be oblivious to everyone staring and laughing. Eventually, she will suggest drinks.
Next Friday comes along and natually you ask her if she wants to go dancing again. "Nooo, I just want to stay in tonight". Problem solved. :]

don't touch the hair

In America you have the right to be homosexual. You also have the right to not like homosexuals. That's what freedom is about. Diversity is all-encompassing.

Maybe he could write a short story about it.

My buddy used to work at Subway. After a while, every time somebody said wether they wanted a 6" or a foot-long, he would always mutter under his breath, "dick in your mouth"'

I would have just given it the finger.

A man I knew was killed in a car accident. When the family got his personal items from the police, his voicemail was full. Nobody knew the password.