If you just want it to be real, there's nothing wrong with that.

{It was a little hazy}

*cough cough. Pollution.

that's heavy

Thank you Senpai, I will keep it hermetically sealed in a glass mitten like that creepy groundskeeper finger jockey from Zoolander.

*high five

Don't have a cow, man

There's a Handsome Man Program for you as well.

A key difference here for American citizens is that they have been mandated to make a purchase from a private, for-profit business. I do agree, the statement is in bad taste, but ultimately it's about the destruction of freedom.

I thought that was the solution.

Source: 2002 CDC Mortality Tables.

Step 7: Cancel all doctor visits, because 38 toddlers died as a result of medical treatment.
Step 8: Empty your medicine cabinet and get rid of all hazardous cleaners. 31 toddlers died from those awful things.
Step 9: Turn over all firearms to the appropriate government agent, since the data shows 11 toddlers age died from unintentional gunshot wounds. Try not to get killed in the process.
Step 10: Research statements you might make on the web, especially if you are just parroting some article designed to further an anti-American agenda through
skewed emotional statistics.
Guns are not for everyone, but they are the only thing almost anyone can use to put themselves on a level footing with violent criminals.

Step 1: Shut off the water, since no less than 454 toddlers aged 1-4 died by drowning.
Step 2: You should probably leave your house if there is a toddler there because 423 toddlers were homicide victims, and most were killed by someone they know.
Step 3: Get rid of all matches and lighters, board up your fireplace, and turn off the electricity since 221 toddlers died from smoke, fire, and flames.
Step 4: Cover your eyes and your ears, because 108 toddlers died of unspecified events of undetermined intent, and we just don't want to hear about that.
Step 5: Oh wait, you cant leave your house because sadly 89 toddlers died of neglect or mistreatment. I suggest procuring at your expense a 24 hour security team to watch over you. We're going to make sure you're safe.
Step 6: Get rid of all food and anything in your home under the size of a tennis ball, because 72 toddlers unfortunately died from an airway obstruction in just one year.

Well funsubstanceuser, I decided to take you up on your offer to do your research for you and here's what I found:
According to the source article, which happens to be the Washington Post, in case you just read one written by a news repeater, the amount of people killed by a toddler so far in the US in 2015 is: 2. Yes, two people have been killed by a toddler with a gun.
Did you notice the amount of ads on the "news" site you got your information from? They are selling something, and you are buying it.
Fortunately I live in a country which grants me certain rights. One of the reasons for this is to protect me from nincompoops who are so sure the sky is falling, they would mandate that everyone universally dug a hole and buried their heads in it.
I am a great believer in liberty, so I am happy to assist you in planning a common sense safety lockdown for your home. After all, It's for the children.