I used to have freckles, I hated every single one of them.

A fandom does better research than the FBI. That is a fact.

How would a toy die? They don't have organs and they can lose parts and be fine.

And yet, my library looks like it hasn't seen humans for thirty years

They have more self restraint than some people

Can you imagine not studying and just picking 'A' for every answer?

My favorite still is 'I will rip off your balls and use them as tiny, furry, earrings.'

You sir need a high five

I too, turn into Benefrackel Cucumberpatch

I love tomatoes. Especially the really tiny ones.

Trotting away from your bullshit

That cat looks like its plotting my death

How do you not know what a tan line is? Did you grow up under a rock?

She's not the sharpest crayon in the box

She's wearing a patch? Where?

I have a laser pointer, now I just need a tiger

I want to go there really badly

My dad said I was too old to be grounded so he just pisses me off when I'm in trouble. He takes my chargers, puts oil in my shampoo, stretches out my shirts by the sleeves.

What the hell? Who has a silver garden hose?

How much did she have to buy? They sell vanilla extract in these tiiiiiny little bottles the size of my palm.

I'm pretty sure that most tattoo artists won't agree to tattooing a baby. But then again there are some weird ass people in this world

Hitler jokes are only funny nein times out of ten

Is that not what is happening

We have those down here, but there are more tunnels that go underground for the animals than bridges