Who polished it?

I'm not getting married unless it's like this

And suddenly, I'm drunk

Gee thanks google

My dad writes in all caps too.

For a second, I thought the screws were googly eyes.

That guy deserves a high five and a cookie

I want to try that. Like. It looks so cool.

Those are some long legs you've got there.

Wow! The grass is totally messed up! Crazy storm!

It'd be funny if he hit a bird

Has she heard of 'fake piercings?' I think Claire's sells them.

That's gonna be my catchphrase.

Maybe you talked in your sleep

It tastes like fruit and blood!

LOOK. AT. HIS. SHOES. AWH.

In my opinion, THIS is art. Not 'modern art'.

NO? WAIT. WHAT?

My mom was a horrible chef, thank god for my dad. He could cook like hell.

How old are they? I could guess but I suck at guessing ages. But based on my calculations, way too young to have a kid.

Yeah nice jacket but I LOVE HIS HAIR