I bet he got her that wine though

Charmander got burned by his own flame

I caught this thing trying to sneak up on me

...and it turns out the carrot wasn’t getting any closer because that bastard had it on a string...

Who cuts toast? I exclusively cut bread when in sandwich form.

That’s why I only do it in the back of the knee

Because this is before the Neptr portion of your career

I feel like I have been taken for a fool. A FOOL!!

I heard this robot shortage is made up by our government to force its citizens into the labor force, but in reality we have plenty of robots

Who wouldn’t

That’s why I love going to the laundromat

He’s gonna end up being the designated dragon rider for her and Jon’s dates

So you’re telling me I should date a giraffe

Death by a thousand scratches

I thought this post was about Adventure Time for way too long

I ain’t saying she’s a gold digger, but...

I am just a humble Floridian gator farm Gift shop Associate and I genuinely believed that she was a genuine an automaton.

And you ask why no one wants to learn medicine anymore

Cats became gods when they where simultaneously alive and dead

That shit could crush an iceberg

I ain’t gay but twenty dollars is twenty dollars

Sitting down just as the squirts begin