Fuck your ice cream, unless I can have some, can I have some?

Who gets the achievement points

How she maintains that diabetic glow

Nom nom nom

*Scar looking to the hyenas to save him from Simba*

When it was pure creativity for artistic expression and not a cash grab

I got to sit by myself for a 7 hour flight once, so the guy across the aisle took it upon himself to attempt conversation with me every thirty minutes

You get a large frosty for that burn and you only have to pay regular price

Sprout told me to burn down my neighbor’s house, sorry Wally.

That’s not normal, you could die

Do you have a second to talk about solar panelling

You’re right, I’m sorry so what are your biggest feelings about breastfeeding

Aaron Carter beat Shaq, you will show him some respect!!

I’m not sure these guys are lawyers

You should try using a recently killed electric eel

Either you sleep the night before a battle to the death or you sleep forever

Congratulations James, or as he is known in his online community, Sir Mouseinpenis III

This was a snl deep thought from Jack Handey

Where do you work and how can I put an ad there

Now that’s a lady

Some people don’t get jokes

I have been summoned