Immediately confused thinking OP was a guy, then the penny dropped.

The mum we don't want, but the mum we need

Dickhead

Hahahahaha

Your parent medal is in the post

The struggle is real

Clever boy, she won't ask him again

Why not take the burgers?

:'(

Still better than me

You didn't unwrap it, so it won't work

Men have big pockets so they can scratch their balls!

Fake news. This is just a modern photo with a filter.

I saw a woman in a shop once with a lot of ass, I said that's a lot of ass, I didn't get any of that ass :(

Lions don't even live in jungles

Ohhhh I like this one. Bravo

I have all the cancers, after reading that. Thanks!

Hahahaha

I found OP's mum's house

Hahahaha loved where that went.

Looks like a butt hole

I was having this conversation last week. We also used to say hello and bye on IM but now we just plough into what we want to say even though it might have been days or longer since I last IM'd that person.

Normally what happens when you start dating them. The lesson here is don't put anyone on a pedestal.