I saw someone buy rope, duck tape, shovel, and vibrator once

One of my worst nightmares as a kid was (I was pretty young, like 4 or 5) and it was I was in a Mario kart style race with Mario, Luigi, Elmo, and a few other Sesame Street characters and we were all dressed as giant cookies and we had Cookie Monster chasing us. There is more but I feel this is wierd enough.

One hot day when I was a kid I felt a breeze go by. I thought "it felt nice in the breeze, so I should stay inside of it." I proceeded to run as fast as i could to stay inside of the breeze. When I couldn't keep up I waited for another breeze to come.

One time when I was driving I almost ran into a man jacking off in the middle of the road.

I have a friend whose parents have an 20 year age gap

I was working the concession stand at a community theatre, and we sell sodas for $1. A guy comes up and buys one, but when he tries to open it the tab breaks. So he comes up to me and asks if he can get a new one, the lady who worked the popcorn machine behind me turns to get one from the fridge.
Before he can react, i pull out my phone, and slam the corner into the tab, and pop the drink open.