My family is really weird, my mom dresses up like my dad, and my dad dresses up like my mom.
They're transparent.
Also,
Where does the general keep his armies?
In his sleevies!

Ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming

(not really a pun)
What do you get if you combine a dyslexic with an agnostic and an insomniac? Someone who stays awake all night wondering if there is a dog.

well I don't have any that are punny enough

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Juan.

also not a pun but: what happens if you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

That was the Wurst joke I've ever heared.

What's a mad rush to the post office called? A stampede.