My existence!

Personal stories?

Any, really.

Oh I got this
On the last day of school, we were listening to Uma Thurman, and in the first verse, the singer goes
"The stench, the stench of summer sex"
But none of us were really paying attention to the song (we were playing uno because we're mature) and my phone was playing the song in the middle of the desks
And I swear all I heard was
"The stench, the stench of summer s-" *THUD* MY FRIEND BROKE HER ARM TRYING TO COVER THE PHONE'S SPEAKER BY MUFFLING IT WITH HER JACKET SLEEVE WHEN HE SAID SEX
Yeah we got detentions for listening to "inappropriate music"
Worthit.jpg

Some friends and I went camping and we started to drink. We got pretty drunk and decided to stumble down to the river. Once we arrived at the river we got in and floated about a mile down. I sobered up and realized what happened. So we played rock paper scissors to see who would get the car and shuttle us back. But there was a catch who ever lost had to run back naked to get the car. Well it was the most embarrassing and fastest mile I had ever ran.

In the third quarter of eighth grade, my teacher figured we were mature enough to watch ourselves. So she left us while she went to go get something from her house.
My best friend, Jordan, had white out and a girl named Ashley needed it, so they exchanged white out. Mind you, white out is banned from our school in bottle form. So this was already a bad idea.
When Ashley gave the whiteout back, the top wasn't on all the way, and what did Jordan do? She grabbed it from the top. White out spilled all over the floor and stuff got on Ashley's pants. We couldn't tell the teacher across the hall cause he'd kill us, and using Lysol only made it worse. But the teacher next door, bless her soul, whipped out the wd-40 and got it up quickly. To this day, our homeroom teacher never found out.

I remember that story^ XD

XD

One day, traffic on the highway was really packed so I was hopping from exit to exit. At one of these exits, I stopped at the stop sign then started for the on-ramp, at first I thought the dark spot on the road was a pothole but as I got closer I realized it wasn't a pothole... it was bees. A pile of bees! Why were there bees on the road like that?? Why a pile of bees??

In library. Sitting in front of handicap railing on a chair. Friends whispers some fuckery. Forgot about railing. Seal-laughs and throws back of head against railing. Has to go to doctor and explain to him how I got a concussion. Doctor laughs.

That story just won XD

At an away-competition for band and I had to use the bathroom. I was the only who went in my entire fucking group cause they went to see the other bands play.
Sit on toilet and release the seven levels of hell on the innocent thing. I look over to the toilet roll. It's fucking empty. Another person on left side of stall but I don't wanna ask since I just murdered the toilet - embarrassing as fuck. Did the only thing I could do:
1. Quietly open stall
2. Squish ass cheeks together
3. Waddle over to next stall and quietly wipe my business
4. Waited till person left to leave

Now I keep a roll of toilet paper with me wherever I go.

I went to the middle school that my mom teaches at and I often got asked, "Are you Ms.[insert last name here] daughter?" It should have been a no-brainer because my last name is pretty uncommon and I look like my mom, but no, middle schoolers apparently can't put two and two together.
Then during gym class, a girl asks me the irritating aforementioned question. It was January or February at the time, and out of sheer annoyance, I sarcastically gasped and said,"YOU FOUND MY MOTHER? I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN YEARS!"
The girl left me alone after that.

^^^ my mom teaches at a middle school and I'm often asked that