I just need to know this: do you know any Japanese currently?

Move there.

@carbonatedwaffles Not really.
@otamega That's gonna be hard.

Do you just want to know how to speak? Or writing and reading as well?

I want to learn how to speak it and read it.

You could try learning from a tutor, but if that isn't something you'd like to do you could maybe watch some youtube vids (pretty sure they have some for people wanting to learn Japanese) or you could maybe look up the letters and start by just learning their sounds and then eventually progress.. So Basicaly: Tutor or Internet

Just made a simple sentence.
Words completely change
Fuck me

I... I don't know what that meant but okay

Like I translated them and then I translated them and symbols changed so fucking fast

*into sentences

Oh ,3 I guess it'll take a lot of work to learn. I've heard Japanese is a hard language to pick up...

You could learn the language separately from the reading aspect. For you, I think you should learn how to speak it and then read.