"What if our house was... NAKED?!?"

Oh my god what in the nine realms are your children on

Nothing, they just take after me. :D

That explains it. Awesomeness.

My 6 y/o cousin said once, "What if Daniel (another cousin) was a baby and destroyed the world?" Idek. We weren't talking about Daniel, babies or destroying worlds.

Ha ha awesome.

*watching SpongeBob episode where they camp outside*
Squidward: I hope those two get lost.
Me: Squidward's so mean
Nephew (6 yrs old): Yeah, we should eat his legs.

Well that is the part of squid that does get eaten...

I once heard a kid say, "I'm part Jesus."
Also, one time I was at a craft store when a mother was walking in there with her kid.
Kid: "When will we be done?"
Mom: "We're almost done."
Kid: "I don't believe you."

Niece: 'I don't think the cat would like it if I ate his food'
They don't even own a cat

The little girl I watch is like psychic. She told her mom yesterday that she is going to be put in a square car with flashing lights "not moving ever again." And she once asked me what "the lady" was doing staring at me, and she pointed behind me, but we were home alone. And then she goes "shes walking.... And now she's sitting in the chair looking hard at you" and then she had this dreamy smile and just stared at the chair for like a minute straight.

*shudders*

Yeah I was like "what" and she was completely zoned out. Oh, and another time she was carrying around this toy Elmo. So shes dragging it over the carpet and suddenly she gasps and falls to her knees and goes "he's dead!" Which is weird because she doesn't really know about death yet considering she was only two. So I kind of just watch her. She picks up the doll, and really gently just lays it underneath the lamp in the living room. She tip toes around for about twenty minutes, and makes us all in the house be really quiet because he "died". So as I'm taking her up to bed she goes "be careful. Elmo is dead, and he's gone now". So I kind of just ignore it and bring her to bed. About ten minutes later, I come downstairs, and the Elmo toy is... Covered in flies. Like a literal dead body. Swarming with flies in a house that I've never even seen a fly in. Buzzing around and picking at the doll. Five minutes later, every single fly is gone and I inspected the toy, and it was completely clean

I have all these weird stories about people, I swear they are true lol

oh my fuck run amberlee

Holy crap. Reminds me of a book about a Dante inspired murder mystery.

Yeah I almost died

Gtfo of there omg