had an english teacher in high school that was older than dirt. She would claim that nobody turned in their homework on a regular basis. One of the girls in my class caught her cleaning up her desk after class and throwing all the homework papers in the trash.
My mother told me that she had the same teacher and she was old when my mom was in school.

The simpson kids never got any older.

I lock my doors at night, not to keep people out but to make them ask permission before they enter my home.
Is this unreasonable?

The epitome of sweetness

The fact that you can have a "women's gym" annoys the shit outta me.
If you try to have a "men's gym" they're all calling it sexist and trying to force you to let women in.
the fact is , having the opposite sex in the gym is a distraction, the "women's gyms" get that.

In chicago they just shoot him.

stupid is as stupid does mrs blue.

The movie "After hours"

And sometimes there's corn even though you don't remember eating any.

Wormwood oil is the psychotropic ingredient in absinthe, which is what Van Gogh was purportedly drinking when he cut off his ear and sent it to his crush.

Until people stop using the ocean as their personal garbage dump/cesspool, it's never gonna get any better.

In other words "Be a brown nose"

We just need a couple million more eagles and the problem will be solved

When it comes to make up (war paint)less is more.
And for the record, perfume was developed for people who don't bath, to cover up their funk.

Definitely something wong with most of those kids.

Me too

Sure, but if YOUR dog does that they wanna euthanize him!

Could have used that before I switched to E-books.

A goat, not a cammel

Now THAT was funny!

I'm always joking, but there is truth in my offensiveness.