Diamonds are a girls best friend, Dog is man's best friend...just sayin'

Putting all of your info on someone else's server (the cloud) is just the mother of all bad ideas.

His face stayed like that for the rest of his life.

Thank you Captain Obvious.

The obvious solution: Close the lid when you're done. Then the lid has to be opened to sit and the lid and seat will be opened for a man to pee.
And it's not a matter of aim, From a height of 13 inches or more, the urine will splash high enough to end up on the seat.
CLOSE THE LID!

Maybe if she didn't have a vagina the size of the Grand Canyon it wouldn't be an issue.
"I could sure use a little pussy"
"Me too, mine's as big as a house"

That is so gay.

Use to have to shear my springer like that, if you tried to brush her, she would take your arm off.

Religion: In the book of genesis Adam and Eve were kicked out of paradise for taking fruit from....."the tree of knowledge".

Trees.

The internet and harsh criticism go hand in hand, there will always be trolls.

Ever seen a sumo?

Grab her by the pussy!!

In the next picture he turned white and was rejected by his friends.

It's a mystery.

Never mind the urinal, when they come out of the crapper and just walk out is what really grosses me out......poop fingers.. don't bite your nails

The dead get more flowers because they are missed.

OMG! He grabbed 'em by the pussies!

You still need a donated organ to start with

Khakis is car keys in Boston