Comments

"I'm terribly sorry, ma'am. There was a mix-up at the hospital. You see, your child died during childbirth and this adorable little ragamuffin is actually the result from an unholy copulation between Satan and a dog."

"Did you know a baby will lick peanut butter off of anywhere? ANYWHERE."

"Why, yes! I would be interested in learning more about our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Especially after dealing with this little Hellspawn."

"It's quite simple, you see. You paid me half of what you normally pay to watch the twins, and I only worked to keep half of them alive."