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Das when u gotta use dat safeword

I'm so sorry, at first glance I misread this as "a BEAR that plays music at half the volume..." And now I've an image in my head that won't go a way of Yogi Bear making a living by singing really really quietly.

Nice butte.
(I'm sorry, I had to.)

Why yes, yes I should. Care to join me, to ensure I'm following instructions? ;)

Dude: yes I would like one palm reading pls
Psychic: sure hon, sit right down and let me see your h--OLY FUCK WHAT IS THAT THING
Dude: mah hand
Dude: so are you gonna read it or

For some reason, this feels like an excellent metaphor for world politics.

Y'all'd've known this already if ya lived in Texas.

Liverpool Ventriloquist
Lullaby Valedictorian
Lol'd Valviform
Leafy Vasculature

*Sebastian Michaelis chortles evilly in the distance*

Guys, guys look... It's Thor and Loki...

Leg so hot
Hot hot leg
Leg so hot u fri an egg

Guys, it looks like ODM gear!

*cough cough* Homo reptilia. Aka Silurians. Thank you, Doctor Who.

*clears throat*
Roses are red,
The President's a cretin...

To quote a distinguished literary professor,
"OBviously..."

"You have a horror movie called Alien? That's really offensive! No wonder everybody keeps invading you."
--The Doctor

Cirque du freak, both the novels and the manga. They're amazing, but I've only met like 2 other people who have ever read them. You know the fandom is dead when none of the fics on AO3 have been updated in two years.

She stood in the doorway, relaxed but alert, silently assessing the room. It was full of strange and fantastic people, from a shameless dragon to a glittering silver myth. Her eyes flashed vivid golden green as she glanced around, subconsciously registering escape routes, tactical positions, and potential threats. She tensed imperceptibly as a blurred figure approached her.
"Heya, welcome to the party! Come on in, help yourself to some laughs, and don't feed the trolls..."
Slipping smoothly into her new role of Funsubster, she grinned. "Thanks, glad to be here! I'm gonna go grab some memes."
"Have fun. See ya round."
She glided into the room, effortlessly dodging wandering users, and headed with apparent purpose toward a table of memes. Her peculiar height turned a few heads, since at 6'1 she towered over the rest of the female Substers; her strikingly pale skin, choppy shock of dark red hair, and fighter's natural ease of movement turned still more.

We are?
*stares at one small jar of foundation, one bottle of powder, one plastic case of eyeliner, one stick of mascara, and one tube of pomegranate Burt's bees lip balm, all of which combined take up less than 8 sq in of counter space*
So, uh, I take it this isn't a normal amount of makeup for a 17 year old girl.
...But I must admit, people complimenting me on my contouring when I never actually do any is a great self esteem booster.

Dammit Sebastian, do you have to be so dramatic every time I summon you?
--Ciel

Oh look! My dignity! THAT'S where that went... Aw, and that little baby doll I lost when I was 5...
And...
*blinks* 2.5 tonnes of other stuff...

Is it wrong that, simply from seeing this building, I want to shag the hell out of the architect that designed it...?

Well, it does appear to be in the monkey house. Perhaps it's a new species of... mandrill?

I read it two ways: you can't get lost if you don't know where you're going, and, you can't get where you're going if you don't know you're lost. Both strike me as appropriate.