Comments

Maybe call her dad and tell him, instead of sending the photos? She's a total asshole and deserves a metaphorical slap in the face, but come on.

The younger you are, the more beers you would have drunk. So let's be generous and assume you are a stunning 100 years old. 1919 was 275 years after 1644, so you have lost 2,75 years of lifespan every year of your life. On average, you drank one pint every 3 minutes and 16 seconds. That's not counting the first years of your life and the time you spent sleeping, so, more like one pint every 2 minutes, since you were 15, for 16 hours a day.
And that's assuming you are 100 years old. If you're 30, you should have drunk one pint every 30 seconds (roughly).
So, just to sum up:
1) I call BS, and
2) I am pretty far in the autistic spectrum and have way too much free time on my hands.

Until Valhalla.

EXCESS FUNGUS SLICES

Half-Life 3 confirmed.

Somebody getting hurt + good ol' sexism = ...fun for the whole family? Sorry to be THAT dude, but how is this funny?

"she literally vibrates with anticipation" is a sentence I wish I could say more often.

This is just about the quantity of sugar. How many teaspoons of oil in a donut?..

Well, first off, knowing how chatty I am, I would be black.

Excuse me, kind of where?

Great, you are teaching your kid that only two outcomes are possible in a given situation, success and failure, and that only success is worth being noticed and rewarded. This kid sure will have unimaginably high levels of self-esteem.
Seriously, we should be teached that the effort counts, not the outcome, and that failure does not exist anyways, because you learn even more when you "fail".
Less funny that photos of a lil' dude pulling a rope, I guess.

In S02E05 of South Park ("Conjoined Fetus Lady"), two Chinese radio/TV hosts do this, and I always found this hilarious.
I really hope they make fun of us, actually.

Actually, rats started fucking our shit up, but when the first few people died, we (French dude here) thought this was beecause of cats (they're malevolent creatures from Hell, everyone knows that), so we killed pretty much every cat we could find, and the rats did not have predators anymore and their populations grew A LOT and they gave us The Black Plague. My point here is: give the Europeans screens, and they'll throw them away thinking they cause malaria.

The last piece of advice really helped me. Thanks.

I'll be there in 24 hours on my way from France to Sweden <3

Nearly not late: June 9th 1934 was his first occurrence.

You'll never be Freddie Mercury cool anyway.

It's not an ambigram, technically. But it's amazing.

1. This happened last December.
2. Songs 2 and 4 do not exist.
3. Songs 1, 3 and 5 exist, but this member of Cannibal Corpse, namely Pat O'Brien, did not write a single line of the lyrics.
4. The title "Code of the Slashers" is pretty clear about what the band talks about, which is horror movies. They are not into cults, real-life torture or violence. They write short horror stories. The fact that one of their guitarists collects guns and skulls just means he's kind of sick. The band itself? Pretty nice people.

When you feel like Life kicked you in the balls but you actually did.

"Linux inside"?
Either a VM or a lie.

Bullshit. First, there is no way you can get an estimate that precise, as two animals weighing the exact same will not piss the same quantity every day. Second, that's nearly SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND TONS of urine. Per day. Come on. An upper bound on his estimated weight is 60 000 tons, so he would piss ten times his body mass per day. Yeah, right.

Bring Your Own Dru-- DOG, I mean Dog. Of course I do.

Everyone knows that /pol/ is a great source for documented, objective information, right?