Comments

Flower is s*x organ of a plant. So in a parallel universe they should instead......

So, he’s sending the rent check to the bank as mortgage payments, so that they have a place to live?

So true

Thats not good at all!

I have often thought of mounting a paintball gun on the front of my car so I can tag idiots when necessary. It would be so satisfying!

The worst is saying something and everyone does that quietly look away thing. Then, a few minutes later, the "funny one" of the group repeats what you said and everyone laughs and says "Were does he come up with this stuff?"

If you've ever seen the process of dumping an RV sewage tank, you'll realize this never happened.

Why I didn't join up. Never trust a Republican.

Hence the famous "You can't spell SUBTEXT without BUTTSEX".
Oh, also, for those who do not know, MOTHER IN LAW is an anagram for WOMAN HITLER.

Not all hero’s wear capes.

Eh, too far.

Or companies where that money is trivial.

Or.... maybe he's cheated before and she has every right to be suspicious. Why do we always assure the girl is the problem?

Wouldn't in a parallel universe flowers would be grabbing us and dragging us into the ground with only our different colored faces and pretty hair sticking out? And instead of beautiful smells, would they comment on the wonderful songs we sing as we scream til our throats fill with blood for help? And when the songs have stopped and the colors have faded to a bloated purple, they would pull us completely under because I guarantee they would be into composting.

Fake news

Why does it matter that he is muslim?

... or possibly *your kids ...

none of them considered a cart...

Nice.

Payroll deduction.

To be accurate, since it's France, the road disappears under four meters of water.

All women should boycott this development because it wasn't developed by a diverse team, but by four men. Fight the patriarchy!

In fact, we should all stop saying boycott, but start saying youthcot to be more tolerant of those who don't cis-identify. Youthcot the word boycott!

But it makes people FEEL like they're "doing something" even if it doesn't really do any good.

Nice.

Catto

Nice

Nicholson should've been one of those 3.

yeah dude hood

Cockroaches. I have been known to quit my house because there was a cockroach in it. I try to keep everywhere spic & span but these little buggers! It's really bad, I can't even see a picture of one without freaking out.

Masturbnation.

England hasn't seen the good side of Dental Hygiene since FOREVER....

This is the kind of woman I want to marry.
.
@releasethekraken you’re like a wholesomeness factory

I was too many years old when I figured out that was his tie, not his tiny arms and legs.

Remember: C. P. R.

Deadpool can't be circumsized. Not sure about wolverine though. He may heal his circumcision wound very fast, not sure about regrowing his foreskin.

It took me like three reads to understand what the hell that guy was trying to say. Oof

Why do I keep reading this?