Too bad John Candy passed away. I guess this guy will have to do.

You had me there in the first half....

It comes to your room, opens the door, turns on the light, looks around for five minutes, closes the door, and leaves. Comes back in ten minutes, opens the door, turns on the light....

Your new GF is much prettier than the old one.

We can hope for the latter.

I have never figured this picture out. Seen it for years. Thanks

Fawlty Towers was built like this.

Look up "melted ice cream truck" to see what happens in Arizona. Happened right outside of Scottsdale. I was there that day. Honest.

facetious, abstemious

They were next to a car that was on fire. The sun only softens cars in Arizona does not melt them very often.

Cicada?? Circa maybe.

"Refill their bladder" I have not laughed that hard in awhile.

Catdoodle. Non-shedding and low dander. From $3000 and up depending on color.

We, the USA, wish to buy your collection of whale vertebrae. Please don't say this is "absurd".

I have the 90 lb version of this dog [Standard Poodle]. Does that make me the ultimate hoe?

GREAT show.

Good thing I ate dinner three hours ago.

Not the same girl. If you saw the whole picture in the after photo she has small calves and skinny ankles. If you have been heavy for any amount of time those calf muscles get big and strong. They don't go down in size after you lose weight. TMI?

Natural selection. Bobby never made it back to our school. I heard he died.