Do you want a daughter who sneaks out and does things behind your back? Because that's how you get a daughter who sneaks out and does things behind your back.

Me, on the phone.

I just set this image as my phone lock screen because it makes me hopeful for an end to the horror of summer heat.

I could not imagine playing a sport surrounded by sand if I didn't have the option of wearing something I could easily shake the sand out of. The less fabric that can become sandpaper, the better.

It is possible they're both disabled. Even if they rented the scooters at the venue that night, they could have valid disabilities...that is why those scooters are available, for the disabled who for whatever reason couldn't bring wheelchairs or who couldn't stand for extended periods at an event and needed them. Knee injuries, spinal injuries, and diseases that force somebody to sit for long periods will eventually lead to weight gain for many as they get older. Just because there exists somebody somewhere who's disabled and not fat, doesn't mean overweight+scooter=just fat. Know what else people can have that can make them heavy, let them walk for short periods, but still require a scooter? Diabetes, congestive heart failure, long term work related injuries, organ failure, Crohn's, cancers, etc. Seeing people walk for the trip from a car into a venue and to a scooter rental does not suddenly make someone their doctor or an expert in their medical history.

Oh yeah, this woman is messed up. After she reported it and her husband and the cops told her to see a psychiatrist, she went to a psychic. She said she senses the pokemon and that her dog barks every time she plays. I think she finally did get an appointment for a psych eval, but jeez. It's like something out of a Russian people of walmart.

That...is an Ewok.

Quicksilver's expression is mine right now. You monster.

Don't sit like that on the busy subway or bus, period. When people are getting on, close your legs. Sitting like that is just as ignorant as putting your groceries and bags on the seats. If you're that uncomfortable and need to spread out, walk or go buy a car. You can't afford one and that's why you're riding the bus? Same with other people, and they didn't pay their fare to have to ask you to move so they can sit down.

My degree is in liberal arts, and I do just fine. Never had a job where I didn't start at the bottom and get a raise and promotion each year. Unless you're explicitly going into engineering or a science, what your degree says doesn't matter. If you got no talent, skills, or a shitty temperament, it doesn't matter if your degree is made of gold. I keep trying to explain to Mr. "But I Have A Masters And I'm Going For A Doctorate" that there's a reason he's been stuck in accounting for 45 years and passed over for a CFO promotion twice, but he swears just waving that piece of paper with no real effort will eventually work.

Nice try, but I think we all know that's Sam and Frodo hiding under a cloak.

Were there any more of these posters? I've only ever seen these three, I always wondered if there were more.

Everyone should be loved for who they are. I know plenty of sweet/funny fat dudes, they're all married or engaged to thinner women. One's wife is a total bitch though, he deserves way better.

Cue all the people who normally complain nobody can take a joke crying because they can't take a joke.

I did this. In my defense, I told them in my interview I had a vacation planned and paid for, and they gave me that week off without pay.

400 words per page on 300 pages, that's a 120,000 word book. I can't even force myself to make my emails more than one sentence.

Shoes in my house. Actually, in 34 years I've never had a run in with a no-shoes house. That's kind of weird to me, I think if anybody wanted me to take off my shoes I'd probably get awkward and come up with an excuse to leave.