I'm sure that mish-mash of words was meant to convey something, but all I got from it was "wah wah wah."

Oh come on. Let's just admit we really like Cheetos and really don't like aerobics.

Holy crap. Do they know what caused the explosion?

Two to tango. Notice guys go straight for the more active girls but the first words out of their mouths when pregnancy happens are denials instead of "well, let's get a paternity test and if it's mine I'll step up."

THIS is why we have art and philosophy and dance majors. Now all of you go sit in a corner and think about how poorly you've talked about the degree programs that kept things like this out of math and science classes.

Pretty sure she'd be triggering Stand Your Ground laws somewhere.

Oh my God, I just burst out laughing and people are looking at me.

Write someone as a stereotype to make their ethnicity obvious, people whine that it's racist. Write someone as just like everyone else and not specifically different from their peers except for a probably different upbringing, people whine about no representation. If you say a person's ethnicity matters, everyone demands to know why it matters. If you say it doesn't matter, everyone demands to know why it's not important. Jeez.

Oh, come on...how else am I going to let my Facebook friends know my IQ is 2000 and liking the color pink means I'm creative-minded?

Food is a way of saying "I love you." Like, sure, you could stop and grab something along the way if you're peckish, but here, I took some time and prepped you some yummy goodness because I don't want you to get hungry.

Lightning Rats. I will use this name for them henceforth.

I don't understand colored highlighter. Highlighter is just to add a touch of shimmer, not paint your face. If you want color on your face, why not colored blush?

I think it's more because in highly populated areas everything makes noise. People are physically adapted to gauge safety by what noises they hear, and the approach of a too-quiet car might be ignored in favor of something that's not as imminently dangerous drowning it out. Plus, you know...blind people.

Depends on context and situation.

I prefer Audrey Hepburn.

That looks like somewhere there would be spiders.

Okay, don't throw water/liquid on people. That's stepping up a verbal argument to a physical one. However, if your first reaponse to having liquid dumped on you is to slap somebody, instead of throwing liquid back or alerting staff, that's an issue of its own. How often do people say "she shouldn't have slapped him for something so minor?" Same case here. Should've just reported her or made her wear a beer.

Here we see the definition of "I don't understand the fluidity of language or the concept of casual words versus formal. I have no friends and don't realize it's because I'm a pretentious asshole."

No, Clark Kent is super attractive, dresses well, and has a nice build, and obviously has Superman's personality since he's Superman. Plus he's got a steady job. Clark Kent would get snapped right up in real life. The kind of person who'd use this quote is trying to equate socially awkward/creepy vibe dudes with Clark Kent. You don't get walked past just because you wear glasses and are quiet, or you're a little more "plain," you get walked past because there's something about you that turns lots of people off.

The $1 bills. Just try cashing a fucking $50 bill at a small store these days. Infinite stack of uselessness.

The presentation shows fantastic effort. I also love chicken nuggets and mac & cheese. 10/10.

If you spend enough time on the internet, cut just becomes a standin for all pronouns.

Frying pans are a basic necessity in acquiring fully cooked bacon and pancakes if you don't have room for a griddle. So really, it's a winning situation.