That doesn't sound like a bad idea

"Forced" upon you. There's a difference between hearing something and listening to something. Its easy to hear a song that's being played, but it takes a conscious decision to listen to it.
And I love Taylor Swift, sure her methods for writing songs may be questionable, but at least she sings about things that actually have meaning to her as opposed to songs about butts and meaningless sex.

Lots of ovaries would explode too.

That's the opposite of haraam.

Oh no, I'm just dating one of his distant relatives.

Lol, I doubt he would be able to weld it if it shattered. If that was the case I'd make him buy me 3 swords.

I'm sure the beating he'll get would be louder than those claps.

He was chopping the branches, but he hit the trunk. It broke at the hilt.

Its okay, he promised to weld my ninjato and to buy me a sword of my choice.

Forbidden/unclean under islamic law.

Oh my god nevermind :|