*drank honey
Smoked salmon

I remember in the movie The Terminal, Tom Hanks' character suggested that because of his farsightedness, he couldn't read the label and grabbed the wrong bottle.

Glad everything is working out for the better!

Everything good now? Eye better, boss rewarded?

Best hope it doesn't turn out like the Chicken from Outer Space...

Finally!

Hey, at least the new sequel to the originals looks promising!

Yep.

No, for some reason when you're used to blade-fingers, you use the palm of one hand on the bridge of your glasses. Effectively blocking most of your vision...

Tibetan Mastiff are fluffy, but also bear-sized.

Okay, but in the context of your first comment, you were a bystander that didn't have the context, background, or knowledge to properly explain how/why the joke was offensive. You were just a person who didn't laugh and felt those who *could* find it offensive *might.*
So, what others are pointing out is, that most people who speak out against comedy, are the ones without the proper reason. The "defenders" whole argument tends to boil down to "This could be offensive to group-x, that I'm not a part of and haven't gotten the input of, but want to speak on behalf of anyway."

The person who, as a kid, was slapped in the mouth for using "swears" and now only uses them in private but doesn't mind if others swear around them.

Version I heard had the bird keep saying "Jesus is watching you" until the robber figures out who was talking. He then asked the parrot what it's name was.
"Moses" the parrot replied.
"Moses? What kind of person names their parrot Moses?"
The parrot then responded "The same kind of person who names their Rottweiler Jesus."

I live in a very rural area. Lots of farms and woodland all around. Far as I've seen, land is all either owned and not for sale, or too expensive for someone unable to get a high paying job...