What eveer, she doesn't have half as many lumps as I do, just ask my boyfriend Brad, or don't, I don't want you making any funny moves with him, BECAUSE OUR RELATIONSHIP IS IN A REALLY HARD TIME RIGHT NOW OK? oh my glob i'm out of here losers.

Aint no one saying Christopher Eccleston is better than David Tennant! (But Christopher is still great to)

Looks like the only thing they'll terrorize people with now is how much weight they'll gain after tasting their dee-lish cupcakes!

One time a homeless person asked for a McDonalds salad so my mom got her that and a soda. My mom is great

The best gift i've ever gotten was my moms hand-me-down iphone 3, when she needed a new one. In my eyes it was like receiving the fricken holy grail. Everybody in my class wanted to see it. the best gift besides that was to that is my tracphone. with 60 minutes on it. Today I still see them as when I first got them. Kids are so spoiled these days.

I get that she slapped him because he was touching her belly but why did he slap her back?

Looks like Peter and Steve are assholes! All he wanted was a happy birthday from the office but noooo, Peter and Steve wouldn't have it.

and then I was all like, "I'm gonna eat your soul."

Are you a bunch of coals? Cause you evolved to be burned! BITCH!

Greg must be his middle name

I love each and every one of those cartoons

:'( I'm gonna go spend time with my dog now.

Just don't give me skin cancer to!

My mom used to watch Oprah all the time.

Whoever's holding Gale is getting no love

I'm trying all you cute little mistreated animals, BUT I'M ONLY HUMAN! *Starts crying*

WHY ARE ORANGES PRE SLICED?

I was waiting for my name to be chosen by Effie Trinket but, I'm good.

I read this in Patrick Stewart's voice.