Yeah. That's what I meant by "blank slate" vs "hand you're dealt".
I don't even really have beef with communism in itself. If a community chooses to live that way of their own accord, entirely voluntarily, more power to them.

We'd certainly have fewer messes like Vietnam, Libya, or WW1

then the few aren't any worse off than they'd be without.
Germany, Russia, and Somalia have their own histories and systems to contend with, that's where ideals give way to pragmatism. People took advantage of an overbearing state, or created one through force of blood and fire, and the little guys lost. That happens with every kind of society, as Germany, Russia, and Somalia are decent case studies to. Hell, especially the US is another good case of that.
As for your point on crime, that's already the reality. Rural places and inner cities have this in common: they can't count on the state to protect them when they need it. Life would go on as it already does, one day at a time.
Military and diplomacy would fit in even better. History shows that there will always be men willing to exert force on peaceful peoples, so it only makes sense to make your nation a less appealing target, through trade or by threat of retaliation.

If a person doesn't trust everyone to happen by, they should utilize whatever means of security they desire so desire, granted that their property is clearly marked. Locks, dogs, mines, automated sentries, or just a strongly worded sign.
If an individual truly owns themselves, then they also truly own their property, vehicle, or any other product of their labor.
As for enforcement itself, I'd leave that to the community itself. Neighbors, family, communally trained enforcers, or simply leaving the two to settle it themselves.
You can choose to leave yours open to the public, or choose not to.
Keep it at the lowest possible level.
If an individual is weaker than an assailant, or the assailant has more friends and the will to beat you and your friends, then he will win. He will take. That's the way it is in every society, though some prefer to imagine otherwise. On the flip side, 4 guys with a 240B have a better shot of fighting off a gang, and if the gang had M16s to counter that,

I do truly believe that most people are, if not good, at least just trying to get by. Far more than would ever choose to do harm. But as an extension of that, any harm done on another ought to be met swiftly and harshly.
If an ex-con cannot be trusted with their rights, they should not be allowed to reenter society. On the flipside, society should not persecute a person who has not harmed anyone. A world where everyone owns themselves and can live or die by their own merits.
I'd be willing to stake my life in such a world.
Granted, that is far more libertarian than most are comfortable with, so the measures and systems I back in less fantastical arguments are grounded more in the hand I've been dealt than if I was working with a blank slate.

Being perfectly frank, most of that doesn't sound too terrible. Many of my views are compromises between my own morals and pragmatism. I would be content with people doing their own best life, even if that meant reverting to something akin to the Wild West as it is popularly portrayed, fondly remembered, or demonized as.
If a drunk doesn't hurt anyone, let them drink. If a pedo doesn't victimize anyone, let them have their fantasies. If an illegal isn't hurting or burdening anyone let them stay. Hell, offer a path to legitimate citizenship, just don't offer them a single red cent from a taxpayer until they are legit.
If people are willing to trust their children or food with strangers, that is their call. But a breach of that trust ought to be punished. Harshly.
I don't care much for zero tolerance, for distant lords mandating people a world away, or for anyone trying to force their arbitrary beliefs on the masses. Outsiders should only step in when people are hurting or victimized.

If it ain't inherently harmful, why have any third parties involved?

How about this: Butt out and take things case by case.

If nobody's getting hurt or being coerced, the government should fuck off

Maybe. We dated in high school, but now I'm a career oriented man who lives on the other side of the country, and she's trying to save up money to go to school and study to work with kids.
It's complicated right now.

Are you legitimately a moron?

No, we aren't buddies. Even when we otherwise agree, you invariably try to personally attack me.
.
And no, I don't care to know anything about that creepy old fuck.

Yeah, we fuck. That's the benefit I referred to, even cracked a joke over when Uncle feigned ignorance. We also shoot, hike, watch movies, and bitch to eachother. That's the friend part.

I have never followed or heard of this creepy fuck before now, nor do I associate with racists or misogynists.
Listen well, nobody likes those assholes except eachother and maybe their poor mothers.

There are plenty of benefits. Though, you may want to consider the possibility that people in a completely different part of the world than you could potentially have different words or phrases in common use.

Hooah.

That's one thing we can agree on. I'm proud my grandpa helped fuck up the Fascists in Italy, and I only wish I could've been there to help. Maybe he'd sleep better.

Sure. Let's go with that