My life in a nutshell

STOP REPOSTING THIS!

This has been reposted so many times and I don't even know who whoopi Goldberg is..

Guys, I need your help. So in my drama class we are having a play, and I star as whoopie Goldberg. The only problem is that I am a very pale teenage boy. So how many tanning sessions and sex changes do you think it will take for me to look like whoopie Goldberg?